Fruit jokes are great. Whether it’s something to make a young child giggle, or a dad joke designed to get the room groaning (but secretly smiling), there’s loads of potential when it comes to fruit.
So, bookmark this page, and next time you’re with family and you want to raise a laugh, read out your favorites from this page and see which ones get the best reaction😂.
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🥝Funny Fruit Jokes for Kids:
Kids absolutely adore fruit jokes, and they’re great for making healthy foods fun and enjoyable. Break out some of these silly jokes to impress your kids, your grandkids or your nephews and nieces and you’ll have them howling with laughter.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine! Although they are partial to a blood orange too.
How do you care for a sick citrus fruit? Give it some lemon-aid!
What’s red and invisible? No tomatoes!
What did the dad tomato say to the baby tomato on a walk? Ketchup!
Why did the orange get fired from its job? It couldn’t concentrate!
I’d never eat trail mix without any fruit in it, that’s just nuts!
Which class at school is the fruitiest? History – it’s full of dates!
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well!
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries!
What do you put on a fruit’s grave stone? R.I.P.E.
Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date!
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? You apply a pumpkin patch!
What kind of shoes are made from banana peels? Slippers!
What fruit do twins love? Pears!
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue-berry!
What did the lemon say when it wanted a hug? Give me a squeeze!
🍓 The Best Fruit Puns:
Clever fruit puns are really a-peeling. You need to time your pun in a conversation to really get it right, but there are plenty of rhyming words that you can substitute when you’re feeling a fruity pun will work.
It’s a pear-fect day for some fruit jokes.
Want some more? Fruit yourself.
Trying to find the freshest fruits in the store is like looking for berried treasure.
Do you like jokes about berries, or are you picky?
These fruit jokes are getting a little old. We might have to draw a lime under them.
You’re the apple of my eye and I cherry-ish you.
And if your husband doesn’t like all these fruit jokes, you might want to let that mango.
🍍Dad Jokes about Fruits:
Dad jokes are meant to be corny, but the best ones are those that make the recipient laugh reluctantly. These awful jokes are best delivered dead pan for maximum fruity impact. Just stop before you run out of juice.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn? The kind with lots of melon-in.
Keeping a job at the apple pie factory is tough. They have such a high turnover rate.
I went to the doctor because all I can taste is strawberries. He gave me some cream for it.
I don’t know why grapes are so unhappy. All they do is wine.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not adding it to a fruit salad.
Did you know that Beethoven’s favorite fruit was the ba-na-na-na! Ba-na-na-na!
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Sorry I drank your strawberry shake. If it’s any consolation it was berry nice.
I’m a really big fan of boiling fruits. You could say it’s my jam.
I needed to take a break from eating so many peaches, so I took a pit-stop.
What do you think?
Do you have your own favorite fruit jokes? 😆
Do you turn into a bit of a fruit cake when someone else starts telling all their fruity puns, and do you have a killer ‘fruit’ punch line that always gets a great reaction?
Add a comment with your best fruit jokes and help to raise a smile for all our readers. And if you’d prefer some vegetable jokes to be added too, just lettuce know.